How to Deal with a Breakup (Pro Tips)?

Happy endings are what we’ve learnt from fairytales and are taught repeatedly and if the ending is not happy, it is often hard or difficult to deal with a breakup or move on. Same goes with relationships, ending it is hard, whether it is your decision or the other person’s or even mutual.

Breakup has become the buzzword for teenagers and people in their early 20’s these days. One day you see two people enjoying each other’s company and seems like this is their forever and after a couple of days, you get to know that they are no more together. It is a natural fact that if the person that you’ve loved with all your heart exits from your life you are heartbroken, it also impacts your physical and mental health. But we must always make sure that nobody comes above ourselves, our peace of mind and health.

Some of the ways by which you can deal with a breakup are :

1. Try Yoga/Meditation

Yoga or meditation is the best way to get your inner peace while letting all the negative thoughts get out of your mind. It may seem to be a little difficult in the initial days as you might get reminded of the precious moments spent with your ex. When we are in a relationship, we begin to think about ourselves as we relate to our significant other. You must have seen or know your strengths as a good listener, or a good provider for your significant other. But now is a good time to remember the ways you are good for you.

This can also help decrease the pain and depression that you may be experiencing. As you revive deal with a breakup, yoga is a wonderful way to rediscover your strengths, both inner and physical. Use yoga to learn how to maintain power over your mind – your thoughts and how you react to them. It will also help you increase your concentration so that you keep yourself focussed and busy in things rather than thinking about your ex all the time. Learn to direct your focus to the positive things in your life and how to pull yourself away from the negative.

2. Hit The Gym

Doing things that exhaust you or make you tired is a good thing to deal with a breakup because this way you would not have idle time to think and shed tears over your ex. According to studies, hitting the gym lowers stress. Also, post-breakup your confidence can be pretty shaken and you feel like nothing is within your control and you have to be all by yourself and suddenly it becomes all about ‘me’ than ‘we’.

But also remember to be proud of the strength of your own body. Maybe you’re able to use this situation to push your body farther than you’ve been able to push it in the past. You might be able to achieve new personal fitness goals. Your body is something that you have complete power over and a solid workout routine puts you back in the driver’s seat. You will get natural confidence from within when you look good and feel good. In this one, you have an added advantage of making your ex feel jealous or sorry over his/her decision to leave you.

3. Write It Out

Your words are your greatest weapons. Let your negative thoughts and grief flow in the form of words. You might have probably noticed, especially the ones who are frequent writers that when you are overstressed or feel heavy and you pen down your thoughts, your focus diverts from the problem onto your writing and as a result, you feel better and lighter. Some of us even have a secret or personal diary for this. Isn’t it?

Until and unless you let your thoughts out, be it via writing or talking to someone, the intensity of emotions will keep on increasing in your mind leading you in a more pathetic state. Writing out your thoughts in a journal, having a good cry, or talking to a friend or family can help you deal with a breakup and gain the clarity you need to see why the relationship didn’t work.

4. Go on a Self Date

Plan out a day for yourself. Sometimes all we need is some ‘me’ time to get over certain things. What can be better than booking yourself a scented spa session which rejuvenates your thoughts and gives you inner peace! Get yourself an appointment for an hour-long foot soak or a body massage session. Go for that blockbuster movie of the week or check out that new comedy with some nachos and coke. (Caution: Avoid the romantic ones). Go to your favourite coffee shop, go shopping or go on that dinner date you always wanted to have with yourself. Buy yourself a basket of chocolates or whatever that is your favourite. You’ll soon realize that you alone are enough for your happiness and content in life.

5. Cook for Yourself

If you don’t want to step outside then you can have it your way, probably stay in your pyjamas and spend a lazy day in your company. What you can do is cook for yourself. Spending time in the kitchen can ease stress and restlessness, and enhance mindfulness. You’ll know your worth and that you need nobody’s company to be happy. Search for that recipe of your favourite meal and try some hands on it.

The process of cooking and baking not only improves moods, the feeling of satisfaction gained when seeing the end product boosts your confidence while naturally enhancing the happiness. Make your favourite dish and eat while watching your favourite movie. If you are in no mood to put in any effort then swiggy it. Order your favourite pizza with extra cheese or the noodles from the funky Chinese store and binge-watch Friends or The Stranger Things. These activities are certain to release some endorphins.

6. Rearrange Your Living Space

Often the monotonous routine and the setting of the house leads to dullness and irritation and makes us remember the old memories which we don’t want to. During the relationship period, you must have gone to your partner’s place or sometimes they would’ve come to yours. Get rid of all those bad memories. Change is the universal law of nature. The same set of the furniture in the living area or the bedroom area can lead to monotonicity and that is why a new look creates space for new memories.

You can try getting new furniture if possible or get the walls painted in a new colour or get the interiors done. If all this is too much then you can simply try to change the setting and add some new things for example portraits. Portraits are an excellent piece of art that increases the beauty of your walls. You should get portraits of your best pictures or ones with your family.This will increase the feeling of self-love and also your living space will get a new look.

8. Spend Time with Friends

After break up we tend to land in that zone where we start forgetting our worth and think that maybe we were not good enough for the other person. Friends play a major role in getting you out of this phase. Try to surround yourself with people who are positive and who truly listen to you. It’s important that you feel free, to be honest about what you’re going through, without worrying about being judged, criticized, or told what to do. Hang out with your girlfriends, do a movie night, talk and laugh about all those silly high school relationships you guys were into. Get your guys gang over a drink and feel a little lighter with some shots.

9. Travel Plans

Go on a solo trip to the mountains or try trekking. Getting away to an exotic location or somewhere peaceful is a potent source of distraction. What’s better than lounging at the beachside with a good book, frozen drinks, and the ocean waves? Talk about self-care. Going to a new place and meeting and interacting with new people is a good method to get over the previous stuff.

10. Explore New Interests

Now that you have enough time to explore new things and do things you love you can develop new hobbies or explore some new interests. Like you may give a try to photography if that is something which fascinates you. Capture the change in nature, seasons, people’s emotions and you will soon get over your grief. Or you can utilize your free time in gardening or planting new plants. Plants will give you clean air and you will feel happy when they will blossom after your sincere efforts. You can join book clubs or debating communities if reading or writing is your taste. You can also engage yourself by joining NGOs or educational camps where children are taught for free. In this way, you will also be able to give back to the society.

11. Acknowledge The Good 

Just because of one failed relationship you cannot conclude that nothing good is happening in your life. Turn your loss into a learning experience. If not any major thing, there might have been one or two things from your side that led to a crack in the relationship. Though you’re unable to alter the past, you can always learn from your mistakes so that the next time you do not get hurt by those.

Always keep the thought that Everything happens for a good in your mind. Find ‘you’ again. Try writing down the five best things you have that you can offer the world. Remind yourself of your value and self-worth and all that you are capable of. It often happens in a relationship that you seem to forget yourself and everything in your life happens or turns to become for your partner. On emerging from such a relationship It can be difficult to focus on the positives of coming out of your relationship right just then, but you can learn to embrace this time as an opportunity for self-exploration.

12. Do Not Talk to Your Ex

This should be the first point in order to deal with a breakup revival process. For the initial phase, block them from all the social media sites. Because now and then you would want to see their pictures or chat with them but blocking would be a stronger reason to prevent you from doing such things. I would suggest going on a social media detox, seeing couples on social media happy in each others arms would increase your agony. One more thing that you should never do is staying friends with your ex and if they suggest on doing so, tell them you need to think about it. If you have any possession given by them, such as a watch or piece of jewellery, there’s nothing wrong with keeping it. But till the time you get over the relationship and your ex, try putting it away.

Conclusion

It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much love and memories to remember. It is not easy to deal with a breakup but time heals all wounds making everything normal and relationships are no exception to this. Eventually you will find somebody who will be your happily ever after. Till then just remember that you’re loved and important to the world, so be kind to yourself. There is a mixture of emotions that you have to deal with a breakup be it anger, grief, loneliness, sadness, fear etc but you cannot waste a lot of time mourning over the person who has already left you. Honestly, so often, we feel like breaking up with someone is the end of the world, but life has an amazing way of surprising you.

Maybe your breakup brings out the best version of you. Some people suffer from depression or experience identity crisis but you need to find ways to move on and cope up with this grim reality. In my thought, you can never unlove someone who once meant the world to you but somehow you have to accept the fact that they no more are a part of your life. Moving on does not necessarily mean that you stop to think of them or love them, but the fact that you are okay with the end of that relationship.